When I first became a Christian, I believed myself to be a pretty good guy. Now I know�I wasn't perfect but hey... there were a lot worse than me in the world. At the time of my conversion, it was not acceptable for a Christian to drink so I didn't. However this did not mean that I had dealt with the addict in me. What I was doing, in reality, was people pleasing on a grand scale. I had lots of new friends, I was someone who was "talented" and could be moulded to be a leader.

I loved al the attention! Having been pretty much of a loner when i was using.�My idea of a really good time was getting�incredibly high and watching movies. To this day there are many�movies that i have never seen "straight". However I was now becoming a someone with responsibilities no less.�I had to protect this at any cost.